Am I damaged beyond repair?

There is always hope. No one is ever damaged beyond repair. We are all subject to mishaps and struggles in life, but an unfaltering human spirit keeps us going. You seem like an intelligent person, there is one thing that should give you hope. Your awareness is extraordinary, and that alone will help you along the path of recovery. Therapy and medication are like girlfriends or boyfriends; the first and second one may not work out, but you keep trying because you want someone you can spend the rest of your life with. This is no different. There are many medications and counselors out there, one is bound to have an effect on you in a positive manner. Once you conquer this stage you will return to the person you knew you always were, that dark cloud will vanish over you, and this experience will make you more mature and intelligent then anything in life ever could have. Have hope my friend, I too hope everything works out.